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hello everyone, im new here and i wanted to seek some help from gym goers to help me tackle some pretty nuanced and obscure personal issues ive been dealing with revolving around going to the gym. i would appreciate that you read this thoroughly, and i will be very grateful for all advice on any one of my topics. i think this goes without saying but i am laying out a lot of personal insecurities here, so i am really nervous🫠 to lay the groundwork first- i am not diagnosed with any mental illnesses or disabilities, but strongly believe i am on the autism spectrum. i am 23, and identify as non binary. my current weight is 70kg, i am 5’6 (167 cm) and have a female body. ive gained weight over the last few years due to my desk job and i really need to start going to the gym because i have a horrible self image now and none of my pants fit me anymore. i used to be very lean and skinny before i moved out from my parents. now onto the important stuff.. 1. i have a food collecting habit and more specifically non perishables and or processed food because that sense of stability that that food won’t go bad brings me comfort. yes i am aware that this food is not sustainable and is actively contributing to my gaining of weight. i don’t get why im in this mindset that i need to collect and hoard food now that i live alone- but evidence strongly points in the direction of how i was raised at home. as a result i’ve stopped eating almost all organic foods- sort of extreme, i know. also from the get go i’ve always been a picky eater, and non perishables offer me the comfort of not being picky towards them. moreover to my pickiness, i cannot eat fruit or most vegetables. there are other foods i can’t eat because i will literally just vomit. i’ve taken supplements before to attempt to cover the vitamins and minerals im missing, and i will definitely take that up again should i start going to the gym and taking my fitness seriously. with that in mind, im sure its obvious that i cant lead a nutrient packed diet without concocting some sort of mystical smoothie that somehow covers up the taste of all the foods i can’t eat lol. ive tried to create those before, and only succeeded once but it wasn’t paired with any gym going, just drinking the protein shake in an attempt to not eat as much and lose weight. 2. back acne and sweat issues: since i was a teenager ive had back acne. to this day i still get it whenever i have too much processed food in a row. fuuunnyyyy right considering my last point… anyway i go some time periods without eating- for example- instant noodles and my back will stop breaking out. then i have them again but a little more regulated and between other store bought stuff, and yeah my back doesn’t go all out. my back acne is also heavily flares up when sweating. and if i sweat not only does it cause me immense sensory overload and issues, so much so that i want to rip my skin off and immediately go shower, but it also causes a breakout if i don’t immediately shower. so my next issue is this: i was told to try tight sportswear to minimize the feeling of sweat on my skin but when i tried that and ACTUALLY went to the gym for a workout, i came back and showered ofc, but the next day my back just absolutely blew up with red painful pimples and it no joke was a traumatic event because WHY was i making an attempt to better myself and get met with this stupid idiotic awful feeling of getting a breakout ON MY BACK. maybe it was because the sportswear i bought was from temu… yeah… i don’t have the money to spend on under armour or nike stuff on a gamble that it MIGHT help with my back. i live in eastern europe and idk any budget sportswear brands that i could buy from. also maybe there isn’t tight sportswear out there that is breathable enough for my back not to throw a fit after. I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW! and the counterpoint to that is to wear loose stuff, right? yeah well if i wear something loose then i can feel the sweat on my skin and it’s just spain without the s from here on out. so that’s an absolute no go. idek anymore at this point. maybe i have to try it and see. i just know that of all the at home workouts ive done in the past and all the times ive sweated in my life, i HATED the feeling of this coat of moisture on my skin. help. please. 3. the feeling of hunger during a calorie deficit. i cannot STAND that feeling. i absolutely never let myself “starve” for hours on end and almost always end up eating within the hour of feeling hungry. i do not overfeed myself every day- i eat 3 or 4 meals a day and i dont snack in between. however my meals are almost always accompanied by a soft drink. i drink a 500ml bottle of water a day and i cant seem to get myself to have more than a litre of water a day if i really try. after that point i just piss every 10 mins and even wake up at night to go which annoys me even more. oh and btw i sleep 8 hours every night. but yes my water drinking needs to be improved at the point of starting going to the gym. anyways- how do people make the feeling of hunger go away when they are cutting? i heavily dislike coffee but i heard that black tea can also help because of the caffeine in it- right? idek if that’s true tho. anyway i would greatly appreciate any crazy or unhinged recommendations. my (likely) auDHD brain could use them. again, im forever grateful for anyone who has read all of this and took their time to comment some advice. it goes a long way, truly🫶🏼
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